(stauffenberg on the far left; hitler in the middle)

valkyrie:

it was pretty exciting to watch this with my german stepdad.

a historically accurate, and intense political thriller.

i didn't know too much about the july plot. i only knew that this was a story about a man who attempted to assassinate adolph hitler. while watching valkyrie, i learned about a whole new side of germany. more than just an assassination attempt, claus von stauffenberg held the ambition to save germany from disaster. there was too much at stake if hitler was to stay in power.

i am honestly mesmerized by this story of loyalty and sacrifice. stauffenberg and his men had the utmost ambition to do what was right; they tried their best to bring justice upon hitler. this is something that i would've enjoyed learning more about in history class.

i appreciate how bryan singer tells this story. he shows great attention to detail, and manages to leave no room for bs. the story is taut, and every minute of it is focused on the july plot. and for a historical movie, it's not boring either. artistically, the filmmakers knew how to place their audience in this threatening situation. although we know the fate of these good men, we still hope for their plans to succeed.

what did my stepdad think of it?

erich thought it was awesome!

the curious case of benjamin button:

the film definitely holds your curiosity about benjamin button. it moves through the motions of growing up with this strange character who doesn't exactly live in the same universe as everyone else. the audience is drawn to what life would look like if you grew younger everyday.

in an interview with "living in cinema", directer david fincher explains how he imagined the two characters of benjamin and daisy as two halves of a whole-- two people who are meant to be with each other. what's interesting is that their time together is defined through their time apart. benjamin and daisy live separate lifestyles until they find the right timing to be with each other.

although a love story at it's core, i appreciate how thematically layered the story is. it wrestles with life, death and acceptance. as we grow younger with benjamin, we certainly don't view life by its minutes but by its moments. as the story plays out episodically through the different stages of benjamin's life, we learn that he holds a unique quality of acceptance. this allows him to truly appreciate what is given and taken away. through his patience, benjamin values every moment in his life.

i like how the filmmakers did not let the story fall into it's own gimmickry. it stays away from being too picture-perfect. the filmmakers knew when to step out of the fantasy tale by cutting back to old daisy in the hospital room. this modern day element allows the audience to stay grounded in reality-- thinking about what might happen next before falling back into more episodes of benjamin button's life. in the end, we find all the pieces and episodes come together as a whole in the end-- just like the relationship between benjamin and daisy.

it surprises me to see this film being unfairly compared to forrest gump. could it be because eric roth wrote both films? i recognized a small similarity with its structure in storytelling however, the curious case of benjamin button still holds a completely different narrative and vision. if comparisons are to be made, this story excels artistically because of its mature and introspective viewpoint on humanity.

finals are over!

it's been a great semester.

a lot of learning, growing, and new experiences. i'm feeling more confident in the fact that this is what i'm suppose to be doing-- not just studying film, but pursuing it through faith. throughout this fall semester, it's become clear to me how much i need to put my trust in God. i cannot place confidence in my own devices and works; my confidence must be placed in God alone.

one experience that certainly changed me was during my documentary project.

while making the first cut of my "hallowed" documentary, i decided to hide the element of faith because i thought that i would lose my audience's attention. i became ashamed of my faith. however, God worked through this documentary school project (how scary is that) to teach me what it really means to have self-less faith.

oswald chambers once said that people "want the blessing of God, but they can’t stand something that pierces right through to the heart of the matter." when i believed that my faith was self-less, God showed me where my faith really stood. i was in much denial and found myself not wanting to take in the truth. but thanks to His persistence, i took in what i needed to hear.

i submitted "hallowed" to the 10th annual epidemic film festival along with my other short film "rise". "hallowed" won the Best Documentary award-- i was absolutely thrilled :).

when i accepted that award, i realized that this was something that i did not accomplish alone. through this experience, i was reminded of how God truly does not leave us the way we are. He is always faithful! in return, i must always place my confidence and faith in Him. always.

"Your will above all else, my purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control

Consume from the inside out Lord

Let justice and praise become my embrace

To love you from the inside out"

Today, God has taught me that Thanksgiving is not about our circumstances, but instead it is about our perspective.

I am thankful for the simple things in my life.

I am thankful

for my family,

for my friends,

for my education,

for my living situation,

for my opportunities,

for my choices.

On a more personal note, i am thankful

for being God's beloved,

for what He gives and takes away,

for the deserts and pain, because this let's me know that i am alive in Him,

for His unconditional love,

for redemption and hope.

If I am not thankful for any of these things,

then I pray for a thankful heart.

it's been an intense couple of weeks!

i've re-edited my hallowed documentary for the final cut. it all came together, and i'm glad to say that i've received a lot of positive feedback from my professors and classmates. although a ton of weight has fallen off of my shoulders, there was still something that i didn't feel completely satisfied about.

i assumed that this was the only challenge that i needed to face and overcome. however, i've forgotten and come to realize that there was more than one thing that i wasn't doing right in my walk with God. i became aware of my other mistakes--

we truly are imperfect beings, but we don't know it all the time. we often lose ourselves in this shroud, and it's not easy to recognize the buried issues that hinder us-- pride, lust, the need to control, taking pleasure in idols, anger. it becomes a long list, and yea.. it can be a total guilt trip. but recognizing these flaws within ourselves, and lifting them all up to God is where we find the true beauty in the Holy Spirit. God loves us so much that He needs to keep us accountable, no matter how painful it is. that truly is unconditional love.

my pastor on sunday spoke briefly of judgment day during his message. he asked us if we thought if this was good news. a lot of people did not really know how to respond. i didn't know how to respond-- was this something to feel enthusiastic about? the wrath of God?

"this is good news," said pastor sean. actually, it is great news. he explained that God loves us so much that He needs to keep us accountable by bringing justice upon us. "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (john 3:16)

God loves us enough to accept us just as we are. but He loves us too much to leave us that way.

just being reminded of all of this has made my heart heavy throughout the past couple of weeks. throughout my studies, and my free time.. God has kept me accountable, and i am very grateful for that.

"Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still i will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord"

Screening "RISE" at Hallowed: an Underground Awakening

About the Event

"Hallowed is an annual collaborative event that provides an opportunity for artists and participants to explore the connections between artistic expression and spirituality. Our theme this year is Lens: focused on compassion. 

Join us for an awesome night of film, photography, spoken word and amazing music! We are partnering with agencies advocating for justice - International Justice Mission, Call + Response, Food for the Hungry, CityTeam, and the Santa Clara County Environmental Planning Commission. There will be powerful short films on compassion being screened. We will also be premiering my short filmSink. The bands and musicians are off the hook – Finding Mercury, After Sunday, Edge, Elohim Pichardo, DJ Incognito, and an open mic hosted by Jonah. 

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed.  Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.” (Isaiah 1:17) We are using the arts to spread awareness and inspire everyone to take action! My vision is to see hearts and lives transformed. The power of art can change the world! Guests will leave with an awareness that we are the solution to injustice and we can make a difference!"

Hallowed: an underground awakening
Saturday, October 25th at 7pm
The Oasis
200 N First Street
San Jose, CA  95112
Free Event

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i've finished making my short film "RISE" :).

Overall, I'm very pleased with how it all came out-- and I'm especially thankful for my two good friends, Jeff Bacani and Nick Corvello, who played the two main roles in this piece.

I've been given the opportunity to screen "RISE" at the 6th annual Hallowed event which I've mentioned above. Very excited to watch this with a large audience :). And I'm very much hoping to see this story contribute to the cause of this event: using our artwork to make a difference.

We'll also be screening "Sink" for the first time at this event. I haven't mentioned this earlier (thanks to my failed commitment to updating this blog), but I've been attached as one of the main editors for "Sink". I can't express how many problems we've run into during the editing process. Post-production for a 35mm project is definitely no joke-- especially when it's handed down to a couple of editors with no professionally related experience! We're definitely learning a lot though.. that's always a plus.

Anyways, the final cut for "Sink" isn't due for another month or so. We're still planning on transferring the footage to HD, which will take some time. I'll try to update regularly on how that process is going.

there's only time to do a project.. and another one.. and another one after that. when there's leftover time, i get to catch up on tv shows, grab a burrito, play one exhibition game of mlb the show, or do this. what i really should be doing is catching up on my sleep... right? sleep...

i've been working on a short film recently which i've been pretty excited about. the title of it is "rise" and the theme of the story revolves around the act of letting go of our burdens.

i'm pretty excited because this is the first time i got to shoot a project on my new hd canon hv30 camcorder-- capturing in 24p. although this higher format requires a little more patience during post-production, the results definitely make up for it.

like in any new project, i'm trying to experiment with new methods of storytelling. for "rise," i've been focusing my attention on sound design, and placement of music. i'm hoping to create a compelling experience through moments of silence, and allowing the subtlety of that to help develop the characters in the story.

i'm still in the middle of editing it right now--

i should be finished with it by next week!

this blog has been deserted for some time now.

i noticed that i haven't followed up with any updates for my involvement in the "sink" production... oops.

well, pre-production went fairly well for "sink." there was definitely a lot of logistics to cover for this 35mm shoot.

i was given another role for this project-- i got to work as the second AC... very exciting! my job was to pretty much work closely with our first AC, and cinematographer. i responsibilities were to clean and provide the lenses, handle the slate clapper, and haul a whole bunch of equipment. not to mention safeguarding the arriflex camera at all times.

we began shooting last saturday, at 7am, and finished production around 11:30pm on that same day. it was roughly a 17 hour shoot. having had no experience with working professionally on a 35mm project before, this was quite a learning experience for me haha.

it got very difficult to work as the second AC, and location manager at the same time. helping out the the rest of the crew while sticking close to the arriflex got frustrating at times. but i guess that just made things a whole lot more interesting for me during the shoot! there was a tremendous amount of effort put in by everyone on the team. miraculously, we had little to no complications with following our shooting schedule. i believe it's pretty common to run into some delays on this type of production-- but we powered through in time.

oh, and it was very exhausting... fun, but exhausting.

anyways, i don't think i have much more time to talk about anything else in detail right now. during this past month, i've basically settled into my new apartment, and began my fall semester at academy of art. i'm pretty thrilled about my third semester here...

for some odd reason, i was going through a very uneasy time during the summer-- and a lot of it had to do with my doubts concerning my stay at AAU. but i'm feeling very content right now...

some very exciting news--

i've recently been attached to a short film project, titled "sink." getting a pretty good taste of collaborating with different roles during the pre-production phase. i've been assigned as the location manager for the project-- hopefully i'll also get to help out with the grips for our cinematographer when we get into production. for now, i feel pretty content with what i've contributed; we have our locations set, and the crew seems pretty happy about it.

what's also exciting is-- we'll be shooting on 35mm stock footage, which just makes everything so much more legit. i dunno how i'm gonna contain myself when that arrives...

limit spectacle

when franz found out about the death of his closest friend, mccandless, he renounced the Lord, and became an atheist. "i decided i couldn't believe in a God who would let something that terrible happen to a boy like alex." (into the wild)

i think for the longest time, i always thought that i would blame God if he ever took away something that i could absolutely not live without. but, after reading what became of franz at the end of chapter six, i felt like.. that this wasn't the right way for him to feel. the mourning is what we inevitably will need to go through in order to endure, and overcome a tragedy. but to blame God no longer makes any sense to me.

mccandless was one of the most extraordinary people, and best of friends that franz has ever met in his entire life. mccandless changed franz, and showed him that there was more for him to seek, and grab in life.

God gave us gifts, your closest family.. friends. to say that he was the one responsible of taking away any of those relationships "away" from us-- who are we to throw those gifts away, and not appreciate what he has given us. shouldn't we be thankful for the time we've spent with out loved ones? and be thankful for what we've learned from our loved ones, and experienced with them?

in the last letter that mccandless sent to franz-- he wrote:

"you are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is everything and anything we might experience. we just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living."

franz has been given a gift from God, and an experience which changed his way of living. i hope franz eventually gained the courage to put down the whiskey once again, and thank God for His gift to him.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/105580

"One night, as I'm standing on LaSalle Street in Chicago, trying to line up a shot for "The Dark Knight," a production assistant skateboards into my line of sight. Silently, I curse the moment that Heath first skated onto our set in full character makeup. I'd fretted about the reaction of Batman fans to a skateboarding Joker, but the actual result was a proliferation of skateboards among the younger crew members. If you'd asked those kids why they had chosen to bring their boards to work, they would have answered honestly that they didn't know. That's real charismaóas invisible and natural as gravity. That's what Heath had.

Heath was bursting with creativity. It was in his every gesture. He once told me that he liked to wait between jobs until he was creatively hungry. Until he needed it again. He brought that attitude to our set every day. There aren't many actors who can make you feel ashamed of how often you complain about doing the best job in the world. Heath was one of them.

One time he and another actor were shooting a complex scene. We had two days to shoot it, and at the end of the first day, they'd really found something and Heath was worried that he might not have it if we stopped. He wanted to carry on and finish. It's tough to ask the crew to work late when we all know there's plenty of time to finish the next day. But everyone seemed to understand that Heath had something special and that we had to capture it before it disappeared. Months later, I learned that as Heath left the set that night, he quietly thanked each crew member for working late. Quietly. Not trying to make a point, just grateful for the chance to create that they'd given him.

Those nights on the streets of Chicago were filled with stunts. These can be boring times for an actor, but Heath was fascinated, eagerly accepting our invitation to ride in the camera car as we chased vehicles through movie trafficónot just for the thrill ride, but to be a part of it. Of everything. He'd brought his laptop along in the car, and we had a high-speed screening of two of his works-in-progress: short films he'd made that were exciting and haunting. Their exuberance made me feel jaded and leaden. I've never felt as old as I did watching Heath explore his talents. That night I made him an offeróknowing he wouldn't take me up on itóthat he should feel free to come by the set when he had a night off so he could see what we were up to.

When you get into the edit suite after shooting a movie, you feel a responsibility to an actor who has trusted you, and Heath gave us everything. As we started my cut, I would wonder about each take we chose, each trim we made. I would visualize the screening where we'd have to show him the finished filmósitting three or four rows behind him, watching the movements of his head for clues to what he was thinking about what we'd done with all that he'd given us. Now that screening will never be real. I see him every day in my edit suite. I study his face, his voice. And I miss him terribly.

Back on LaSalle Street, I turn to my assistant director and I tell him to clear the skateboarding kid out of my line of sight when I realizeóit's Heath, woolly hat pulled low over his eyes, here on his night off to take me up on my offer. I can't help but smile."

- Christopher Nolan

watching the dark knight tomorrow night-- can't wait!

my interests are swaying.

i see white earphones everywhere-- i think i'd rather read a book, and keep my ears open to conversation.

religulous-- a film by bill maher.

after watching the trailer to this film, i headed over to the imdb boards to see what i expected to see-- you just can't help but become fascinated by all the complaints, debates, and witty comebacks that people are throwing at each other on that message board. it's absolute war. and that's the sad thing. there's ignorance on every side.

honestly-- to see this film being made, makes me upset. and no, it's not because i'm a believer. i just don't see why maher needs to justify his views through a film. there is no doubt that he has an athiestic agenda. in an interview with larry king, he clearly proposes that this is a documentary told from an atheist's point of view. maher hopes that the audience will laugh along with his journey because religion (like politics) is just so "inherently funny." well, there is no doubt that this is going to please the crowds.

michael moore made a film about how horrible our president was. but even people who did not support bush found the film absurd. even atheiests will find religulous absurd.

i get that maher is a comedian who has the freedom of speech. the problem is-- he is only on one side here. if his agenda was to build a reasonable debate between opposite views on the subject of religion-- then that would've made a worthy documentary.

the sad thing is that maher is a celebrity who has the star power, time, and money to produce a film like religulous. honestly, this guy is no different then any other average joe who gets heated up on religious topics on your (imdb) message boards.

great.. i really hope that no one gets the bright idea of making a documentary film on proving how "ridiculous" athiesm is. that would be just as bad.

i'm always stopping somewhere-- giving up. but not this time.

i really envy sons who have their fathers.. who talk to their fathers.

whenever someone talks about their dad-- like what he did with his dad, or even the not so good things like.. how his dad stopped him from doing this thing.. you know, like being principled for something.. i really wish i had something like that while growing up.

the other day, i went down to the garage to help my stepdad clean these pool chairs. we were scrubbing down these chairs for a good couple of hours. and i really enjoyed that time, you know? we didn't talk much, but we were working together on something-- and every now and then my mother would come downstairs, and nag at the both of us. and every time she left, my stepdad and i would just shake our heads, and laugh it off as usual. that was a lot of fun.

and when we finished cleaning up those chairs, my stepdad decided to take me out to dinner. that was really great. had a good talk. and i really wish that it didn't stop. but it always stops somewhere because we're still strangers to each other in the end.

that just bothers me. and i really wish it didn't.

life is so much simpler when you're fixing things.

indiana jones and benjamin button

i'm surprised by all the criticism the new indiana jones film is receiving.

i think some people are taking this movie way too seriously. just like all the other three films, kingdom of the crystal skull retains what these movies were always suppose to be about-- fun (and not necessarily believable).

it makes me wonder why no one really bothered to question how a knight was able to live in a cave for 700 years, or how evil mola ram was capable of tearing somebody's heart out with his bare hands. i think i'm okay with the fact that jones was able to save himself from a nuclear explosion by jumping into a refrigerator.

i liked it. it was fun. although i missed the nazis, i really dug how they introduced the new cold war era. note: bombing test site; milkshake bar fight; better red than dead!

one more thing,

the curious case of benjamin button... wow, looking for to it-- looks like a whole new thing for david fincher. 

when i loose that obedience, i look at where i am in the moment-- and i see nothing ahead of me.

somewhere along the way, i've lost a lot of confidence, and i've always wondered why. it kept worrying me until i figured out that there's no need for me to worry about anything. i need to still believe that God can look after the practical details of my life. i seem to have lost grasp of that throughout these past few months.

done

i am.. officially done with my first semester at aau.. and i'm feeling pretty great about it. really great actually--

i know this is gonna sound a bit cheesy, but.. i'm really proud of what i've accomplished this semester. i know that i didn't do a lot of things right in my life. and i know that i've always been letting my family, and myself down in the past. now i'm really proud to say that i've worked really hard during these past five months to get to where i want to be. i'm beginning to see a future for myself, and whatever that may be.. i'm stoked for it.

"advent" update

the shoot for "advent" went fairly well last saturday. didn't run out of any precious film during shooting-- which was great. i really hope that they're going to turn out alright.

apparently there's going to be a super 8 film festival for mpt 105 photo storyboarding students on may 9th. i'm gonna go for it.

Finals

Cannot believe that it's almost been four months already since the beginning of this semester. I guess I was just having too much fun.. haha.. I wish.

I'm drained. physically, mentally. Well.. just played some pretty heated bball games earlier tonight, so maybe not so much physically. Waking up's been getting pretty hard lately though.

As I've mentioned before, we began working on our final projects a couple of weeks ago. I'm pretty scared.

I nailed some concepts for my super 8 short film, montage, and sketching storyboards.. still trying to think of a narrative for my animation project. What's gonna be nerve-wracking about the super 8 final is waiting for a week to get our film back from the processing lab. On top of that-- our class has seen some processed film that came out all black... so that better not happen. Two rolls of 8mm film, each holding only two minutes of total run time-- for a two minute short. I'm gonna make my actors rehearse 50 times before a shot.

As for my edit 1 montage-- I'm hoping to use a track from the hydeout productions 2nd collection album; that'd be great. I'm definitely tripping about my sketching storyboards, cause I simply just can't draw. And to find out recently that those storyboards are gonna be worth 80% of our grade.. just pretty much nullifies any other project I've worked on before week 10.

Not really sure what to say about my animation narrative. I've been finding myself become more and more annoyed with that class. I don't hate it or anything-- it's good. But just like sketching, animation is not my thing. It's interesting how AAU starts off any photography, mpt, fine art (etc) student with two classes that has to be unrelated to our majors. I guess it's kind of neat in a way.. when I see myself enjoying using the nikon fm10's, kinoflex cameras, and final cut pro software over photoshop, after effects, and a pencil-- it definitely confirms that I should be an MPT student.


alright.

where i'm suppose to be?

during my visit to ncbc today, i kept on asking God if there was any way for me to come back.




i keep looking back to a specific time which i can never forget about. during the last night of the "resonate" winter retreat in 2005, i remember sitting somewhere in the back of service, observing the crowd of students in front of me. we were in a session of prayer. i sat there thinking about many things-- my relationship with God, the given message that night.

the message was powerful, and overwhelmingly truthful to my ears and heart. as i continued to observe the students sitting, kneeling, standing, in front of me, my eyes became glued on every student in that room.


i genuinely felt lost after graduating high school. i knew to the eyes of many, that i was looked upon as a student without any real ambition to succeed. no matter how many friends and family liked to look at it in a more positive manner, i knew that my image was still stained with failure. i did feel ashamed, and beat down-- and i didn't know how to explain the fact that i didn't choose to fail. why would i make the choice to fail?


i stared upon every student in that room, and i didn't want to respond to God. i honestly couldn't believe what was going through my mind while sitting there. and that's when i completely broke apart.

how do i describe a calling? i wish i could say that it felt like a beam of warm sunlight shining down onto my face. i knew that i didn't want to respond to God, because i felt immense pain as i tried standing up for myself. i said no, because i wanted something else-- i did want the "success" of whatever a college student needed to achieve, and all the fun on top of it. heh.. and i certainly did not want to re-live high school.

i did not know any of the students.. i didn't know any of their faces or names.. yet i was able to identify with all of them. i think that was the reason why i couldn't lay my eyes off of any person in that room.. and i think that's what propelled me to accept what God wanted me to do.






three years later-- i find a passion to pursue a film career, and i'm brought to an art school in san francisco. so far, it's been an extraordinary experience. it's what the experience becomes when i'm given this privilege and freedom to learn what i want to learn.

during those three years at ncbc, i know that i was still looked upon as a person of no success. but, i no longer felt ashamed of myself, nor beat down. i wish i could tell any person how overwhelming the experience was to serve in the youth ministry. and i wish i could explain that it wasn't just about hanging out with the kids. i want to say that it was all good, but it was an experience that was far from perfect. it was during those times when i fell the hardest, but kept getting back up. that was what i lived for, and that's what i learned to keep living for.

i thank God for giving me the opportunity to know every stranger in that youth group. it was the strangest thing to eventually find myself unattachable to the body of ncbc ym.




i've been asking Him lately.. did i abandon my desire to serve my generation?

i have the ambition to pursue art, but my truest desires lie in serving those students. i understand why God has kept me at ncbc, but i'm confused about why i had to move on from that.

everytime i visit ncbc, it's a great feeling to be welcomed back (as a visitor), but that's something i never wanted. i want to continue to know how those students are living their lives, and i want to be a helping hand to their growth.

am i serving two masters right now? as much as i love this fresh learning experience, i feel like i've lost a good thing. is this suppose to be some kind of balance in my life?

i don't have any real conclusion to this post. i can only say that i'm continuing to search for clearer discernment. in the meantime, i'm doing my best to keep my relationship strong. it's truly been difficult at times to find time for God. since i'm now finding another pathway in serving, i'm taking on the challenge in spreading the good news through my art.

timeless

where have my weekends gone?

there hasn't been any beginnings or ends to my weeks. it doesn't matter anymore if it's a monday or a friday-- it's just another day to get something else done. i hope this isn't considered unhealthy.

the only place where time does come to a still is when i'm with my small group (or "fight club) on fridays. since my phone doesn't have an internal clock, and is only able to tell time with sprint service reception bars, time is literally stripped away from me whenever i'm sitting in that basement. it's nice--

we do get caught up in our busy lives, and tend to forget other priorities-- which can scarily become completely unnoticeable at one point. we lose that balance.

do i open up the word as much as i look at my planner?

John 14:5-6

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

none for sam o'steen?

before the break:

while we were watching the opening sequence to the graduate in my editing 1 class, some of us noticed an edit that looked a little out of place in the scene. i wasn't for sure if the cut was done intentionally, or whether it was just the vhs tape. if the cut was intentional, it was forgivable considering the rhythmic pacing of the scene. the cut was also unnoticeable to the majority of the class, which might have been what the editor was purposely trying to accomplish, and get away with.

after viewing it, we went into brief discussion about the opening sequence. a student sitting a few seats behind me pointed out the same edit that looked out of place. as we rewinded the tape and looked at it again, the student blurted out something along the lines of: "oh wow, that was a horrible edit! even i can do better than that, and i'm only a beginning film student!"


i wanted to throw something at him

Found a moment

Oh man, I swear.. for the past month, I've been opening up this blog site day after day without being able to write anything down. Been trying to find any spare moment I could find to sit down and completely note anything that's been going on. Lemme see if my memory is able to re-call the past month of events! Or past week...

All hell pretty much broke loose between week 5 and spring break. I don't think I've ever been so happy about spring break in my entire life. Towards the end of that last week of school, my body and mind was literally giving out more and more each day. The last day didn't go so well. After getting into a bike accident while rushing to class (which was a first), and almost missing a project deadline (which was another first), it felt like a miracle to see myself through it.

But.. seems like my bad luck kind of stuck with me just a little while more. The next day, I almost lost my laptop in an online scam. Feels pretty awful when you figure out what a person was set out to do to you after working out a deal with him for hours. Thought things were going to turn around for the better during the upcoming Tahoe trip. Although I had a good time, it's been a while since I got into a pretty nasty boarding accident. Tailbone injuries are the worst.

All in all, I guess things could have been worse-- I haven't fallen into any deeper crap. I accomplished what I needed to accomplish during that last week of hell, and I'm still able to walk right now. The rest of my spring break was very pleasant-- a day of solitude, and another few with familiar company. That made up for a lot--




It's now week 9, and the first day back from spring break. Getting back into routine. Even though the semester isn't ending till mid-May, we're already starting on our final projects.

I think out of all of them, I'm looking forward to completing my photo storyboarding final the most. We've finally started learning how to use the super 8mm cameras for our short film final projects. Heh, after getting hands on with it for the first time today, I can only imagine how terrifying it's going to be while shooting with the kinoflex. Definitely makes me appreciate my mini DV camcorder a lot more.

I'm pretty set on an idea for my short film.

It will be titled "Advent".

Week 5

Before my photo storyboarding class began, I over heard a conversation between a few students about their thoughts on Hollywood's progress today. There was an inevitable agreement about the lack of fresh ideas the industry has been coming up with lately. One of the students stated that "we've already used every idea" in motion pictures and television. That was a bit discouraging to hear.

I truly hope that this isn't what we've come to think of our modern day cinema.

The films that started it all (Citizen Kane, Kurosawa, your favorite Hitchcock movies) are generally loved for what they've accomplished and created-- the many genres we've come to know and love today. While great films have still been made to this date, there is no doubt that Hollywood has lost grip of original projects year after year. Now, we all so often hear: "Movies aren't like what they used to be." It doesn't have to stop there.

I really hope that we're not forgetting the fact that there are filmmakers out there who are greatly improving the genres. Filmmakers like Welles, Coppola, and Hitchcock have all pushed forward in creating new feats in filmmaking; much of the following generations have followed their footsteps. There was really nothing new, except people learning how to do things faster; for example, the use of computer graphics. There was a time when the use of CG animated landscapes, and characters became a breakthrough in filmmaking/visual effects. However, the use of CG in a film has quickly been abused. We've forgotten the importance of balancing the use of CG in a story.

Hitchcock's achievement with Psycho, the widely known film which has popularized the horror genre, parallels to the creation of CG and it's once successful breakthrough in filmmaking. What we now see today are horror flicks overusing the same forumla, and the constant need to resort to CG for our stories.

Movies aren't what they used to be because we've been recycling the same concepts over and over again. Great movies didn't end before the day I was born. As a person growing up in the "MTV" generation, I won't limit my appreciation to the good fellas who started it all. I can't say that "[they've] already used all the ideas."







Onto some other related (and somewhat tangent) notes:

I guess like many others, the films I favor are the ones which grab a hold of me. A film that evokes the strongest emotion out of me, or strongly engages my mind, are the ones I enjoy. However, the films which absolutely stun me are the ones which take up the challenge to improve a genre.

Judging from the large amounts of criticism coming from the IMDB boards, It's safe to say that Paul Greengrass isn't widely accepted as a "good" filmmaker. It always bothers me to hear complaints about his documentary style or shaky cam technique. It's an unfamiliar form of filmmaking which definitely goes against the medium, but it works. I see no other filmmaker capable of mastering that technique ( If it's not your preferred method of looking at somebody's painting, or listening to somebody's music, or watching somebody's method of cinematography, then that's understandable. Mocking a filmmaker for not being able to use a tripod is just absurd.)


The reason why I'm inspired by filmmakers such as Greengrass, Nolan, Boyle, (Spike) Lee, and (Ang) Lee is because of how they constantly make an effort to approach their stories differently. They seem to better understand how to tell a story without falling into a redundant rhythm of repetition. (What further deepens my appreciation for filmmakers like Greengrass, and Nolan, is how they work with their actors, and production crew.)

As a beginning film student, I am eager to pursue the same languages in improving storytelling. I want to start doing this by learning more about how any person chooses to live. With no regard to class, ethnicity, or any kind of background, there is a biography worth telling for every person on this planet. A story about a person's life never falls short of becoming interesting.

Sunset

I sat down, and began reflecting about some things.. about how I wake up in the morning, and get ready for the day. About every step I take from the 4th floor to New Montgomery street. Then I looked around the cathedral and began thinking about my faith. I looked around and felt overwhelmed with frustration.

I'm always battling with the choice to step away from my faith. But I know that I can't do that-- as much pleasure as walking away from it would bring me, it would not be worth destroying the peace He has given to me. Why would I want to forget that?

Another look

I've decided to name the short film project "No Joke".

I've started editing it a couple of weeks ago, and I think I'm about half way there. I'm trying out a lot of new things with this project-- finding a different approach to the storytelling, and using newfound tricks on Adobe Premiere. This project is definitely becoming a newer experience as I continue to work on it.


As great as exploring this new experience is, I find myself having the toughest time trying to tell this story. And I think I've realized why.

During the final days of shooting, and past week of editing this project, I've gradually come to realize that I don't want to involve myself in these kind of stories again. Not to say that this type of genre doesn't interest me-- it very much does. Making "No Joke" helped me better understand what type of stories I would prefer to tell over others.

Like I've always said, making this project was an experience I wanted (and needed) to look into. I wanted to see how far I could put myself into one extreme direction. And through that experience, I've gained a new perspective in filmmaking.

Shapes under lamps

Our drawing exercises in sketching for communication are becoming therapeutic.

I wouldn't mind spending more time on drawing those still-life objects in grayscale, or as my roommate majoring in fine arts would say, "five year old sh*t."

Man, I like it.




Looks like I'm gonna be having a pretty eventful weekend.

Heh, the project my Editing 1 professor just gave me is strongly pushing my emphasis away from editing at this moment. Learning how to make those .gifs on photoshop in my Intro to Animation class was tight-- definitely wanna try to do more than the required 4 frames. As for photo storyboarding, I'm just hoping that my slides will come out clean.

Same trial?

Been feeling a bit uneasy lately. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid about things, but I keep thinking about the wrong steps I've taken.. whether it be in the past, or even just something I did hours ago. It's really been wearing me down. It very much goes to the point of worrying about my hold with God. Falling away from that is the worst feeling.


Seeing that things turned out to be this way raises more questions about what God wants me to do. He definitely throws more things at me which I don't see coming at all-- like things that I wanted to forget about for a long time. I ask him why He would give me something that already caused me so much pain before. It's something I really wouldn't want to go through again.


All I can do is ask why, and continue to follow.

Townsend

Alriight-- the first day of class at AAU wasn't bad.. wasn't bad at all.

I can't complain about starting off my first class of the week at 3:30 in the afternoon. Photo storyboarding and Super 8mm filmmaking-- so far it's looking as sweet as it sounds. I was pleasantly surprised to see that there were only 15 to 17 students in the class. It's definitely different than sitting in a lecture hall with 30 plus students. It's great. There is no doubt in my mind now that AAU really is more of a hands-on learning environment compared to other film schools. Getting pretty anxious about checking out the Nikkon FM10 35mm SLR, and Kinoflex Super8mm from the equipment facility... (what is all that???)

Since the campus is pretty much a part of the city, getting to your class can get pretty hectic. As exciting as the life can be over here, I really do hope that these traffic conditions won't put any of my tuition to waste!

Speaking of tuition... and well, the enrollment of all the students here, I've been hearing a lot of interesting comments about the massive drop out rate of this school. I believe there was one year with a 60% freshmen drop out rate. This certainly questions my passion for motion pictures and television.

From what I've gradually seen from the beginning, the school isn't ordinary. And it's definitely not going to be an ordinary college experience.

To be honest with you, I can't imagine myself in a better place.






Christopher Nolan shares his memories of Heath Ledger on Newsweek. It really is a wonderful tribute to the young actor. Check it out at: http://www.newsweek.com/id/105580

After reading Nolan's reflections, I can't help but appreciate the strong connection he builds between himself and his production team. It really is what filmmaking is all about-- a responsibility of understanding and appreciating the people you work with. I don't see how filmmaking is possible without it.

I hope the life and extraordinary work of Heath Ledger will always continue to live as a great inspiration to the entertainment community.

MPT

I'm here! Successfully transfered over to the Academy of Art University.

I checked out my dorm building on Saturday with my sister, and we were absolutely blown away by the looks of the whole facility. Apparently, I received the biggest room on the floor, which was very unexpected. It's almost twice the size of any other dorm room on the floor. We checked out the kitchen, and got to talk to one of the cooks over there. The man was very friendly, and told us a lot about how the kitchen works. I was glad to hear that their business with the students in there is personal.

Moved in Tuesday, and got to meet my roommate, Justin. I guess I was expecting somewhat of an uncomfortable roommate experience, but I this was a nice surprise. He's a cool guy. Completely down to earth and chill. During these past couple of days, I think we got to know each other pretty well.

Got to meet a lot of other people from all over the world-- and I'm feeling pretty good with the people I've become close with already.


The motion pictures and television department orientation was pretty interesting. It's a real comfort to find out how serious this school is about teaching their majors. I really do feel like this was the place I was looking for, or was really brought to. What's gonna sound even cornier is that I'm pretty proud of where this university is on an academic level-- it's really been getting bigger lately, and I'm happy to know that I'm going to be someone a part of this growing experience.


Enough talk about this place-- I might be venting a lot about it later on, heh.




The filming for the project that I've been working on is done. Nick, Allen, and I shot the final scene of the film this past Monday. The performances that Nick and Allen gave were incredible. In fact, it was almost too frightening for me to watch. I'm really grateful for the time and energy that they've put into this project, and I hope to work with them again in the future.

I'm anxious to start editing the project, but I know I'm not gonna be finished with it anytime soon. Hopefully I'll have enough time to work on it throughout my first semester.

First thing's first

I've been thinking about what I've done throughout these past three years-- how I've lived. What I've accomplished, and failed to get done. The black and white choices I've made. The relationships I've begun, kept, and ended. New experiences. Trials. Times of joy, and sorrow. How much I've changed since a month from today.

Three years.. I think if you were to ask me how I was doing about two years ago, I would of told you that my life was feeling pretty aimless. I would of told you that although I knew of God's plan for me and everyone else, I never really understood what that meant for me.


It hit me pretty hard when I realized why I didn't have to feel aimless. It hit me harder when I realized that I'm not in control of who I'm suppose to be. I was always trying to impress myself.

For the first time in my life, I'm overwhelmed to see how all of this comes to make sense. I understand now what God meant when he told me three years ago that things were going to be a certain way for me. I understand now that my trials of success will be irrelevant to the way I live. And I understand now that there will always be an infinite truth to forever pursue.