when franz found out about the death of his closest friend, mccandless, he renounced the Lord, and became an atheist. "i decided i couldn't believe in a God who would let something that terrible happen to a boy like alex." (into the wild)

i think for the longest time, i always thought that i would blame God if he ever took away something that i could absolutely not live without. but, after reading what became of franz at the end of chapter six, i felt like.. that this wasn't the right way for him to feel. the mourning is what we inevitably will need to go through in order to endure, and overcome a tragedy. but to blame God no longer makes any sense to me.

mccandless was one of the most extraordinary people, and best of friends that franz has ever met in his entire life. mccandless changed franz, and showed him that there was more for him to seek, and grab in life.

God gave us gifts, your closest family.. friends. to say that he was the one responsible of taking away any of those relationships "away" from us-- who are we to throw those gifts away, and not appreciate what he has given us. shouldn't we be thankful for the time we've spent with out loved ones? and be thankful for what we've learned from our loved ones, and experienced with them?

in the last letter that mccandless sent to franz-- he wrote:

"you are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is everything and anything we might experience. we just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living."

franz has been given a gift from God, and an experience which changed his way of living. i hope franz eventually gained the courage to put down the whiskey once again, and thank God for His gift to him.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/105580

"One night, as I'm standing on LaSalle Street in Chicago, trying to line up a shot for "The Dark Knight," a production assistant skateboards into my line of sight. Silently, I curse the moment that Heath first skated onto our set in full character makeup. I'd fretted about the reaction of Batman fans to a skateboarding Joker, but the actual result was a proliferation of skateboards among the younger crew members. If you'd asked those kids why they had chosen to bring their boards to work, they would have answered honestly that they didn't know. That's real charismaóas invisible and natural as gravity. That's what Heath had.

Heath was bursting with creativity. It was in his every gesture. He once told me that he liked to wait between jobs until he was creatively hungry. Until he needed it again. He brought that attitude to our set every day. There aren't many actors who can make you feel ashamed of how often you complain about doing the best job in the world. Heath was one of them.

One time he and another actor were shooting a complex scene. We had two days to shoot it, and at the end of the first day, they'd really found something and Heath was worried that he might not have it if we stopped. He wanted to carry on and finish. It's tough to ask the crew to work late when we all know there's plenty of time to finish the next day. But everyone seemed to understand that Heath had something special and that we had to capture it before it disappeared. Months later, I learned that as Heath left the set that night, he quietly thanked each crew member for working late. Quietly. Not trying to make a point, just grateful for the chance to create that they'd given him.

Those nights on the streets of Chicago were filled with stunts. These can be boring times for an actor, but Heath was fascinated, eagerly accepting our invitation to ride in the camera car as we chased vehicles through movie trafficónot just for the thrill ride, but to be a part of it. Of everything. He'd brought his laptop along in the car, and we had a high-speed screening of two of his works-in-progress: short films he'd made that were exciting and haunting. Their exuberance made me feel jaded and leaden. I've never felt as old as I did watching Heath explore his talents. That night I made him an offeróknowing he wouldn't take me up on itóthat he should feel free to come by the set when he had a night off so he could see what we were up to.

When you get into the edit suite after shooting a movie, you feel a responsibility to an actor who has trusted you, and Heath gave us everything. As we started my cut, I would wonder about each take we chose, each trim we made. I would visualize the screening where we'd have to show him the finished filmósitting three or four rows behind him, watching the movements of his head for clues to what he was thinking about what we'd done with all that he'd given us. Now that screening will never be real. I see him every day in my edit suite. I study his face, his voice. And I miss him terribly.

Back on LaSalle Street, I turn to my assistant director and I tell him to clear the skateboarding kid out of my line of sight when I realizeóit's Heath, woolly hat pulled low over his eyes, here on his night off to take me up on my offer. I can't help but smile."

- Christopher Nolan

watching the dark knight tomorrow night-- can't wait!

my interests are swaying.

i see white earphones everywhere-- i think i'd rather read a book, and keep my ears open to conversation.

religulous-- a film by bill maher.

after watching the trailer to this film, i headed over to the imdb boards to see what i expected to see-- you just can't help but become fascinated by all the complaints, debates, and witty comebacks that people are throwing at each other on that message board. it's absolute war. and that's the sad thing. there's ignorance on every side.

honestly-- to see this film being made, makes me upset. and no, it's not because i'm a believer. i just don't see why maher needs to justify his views through a film. there is no doubt that he has an athiestic agenda. in an interview with larry king, he clearly proposes that this is a documentary told from an atheist's point of view. maher hopes that the audience will laugh along with his journey because religion (like politics) is just so "inherently funny." well, there is no doubt that this is going to please the crowds.

michael moore made a film about how horrible our president was. but even people who did not support bush found the film absurd. even atheiests will find religulous absurd.

i get that maher is a comedian who has the freedom of speech. the problem is-- he is only on one side here. if his agenda was to build a reasonable debate between opposite views on the subject of religion-- then that would've made a worthy documentary.

the sad thing is that maher is a celebrity who has the star power, time, and money to produce a film like religulous. honestly, this guy is no different then any other average joe who gets heated up on religious topics on your (imdb) message boards.

great.. i really hope that no one gets the bright idea of making a documentary film on proving how "ridiculous" athiesm is. that would be just as bad.

i'm always stopping somewhere-- giving up. but not this time.

i really envy sons who have their fathers.. who talk to their fathers.

whenever someone talks about their dad-- like what he did with his dad, or even the not so good things like.. how his dad stopped him from doing this thing.. you know, like being principled for something.. i really wish i had something like that while growing up.

the other day, i went down to the garage to help my stepdad clean these pool chairs. we were scrubbing down these chairs for a good couple of hours. and i really enjoyed that time, you know? we didn't talk much, but we were working together on something-- and every now and then my mother would come downstairs, and nag at the both of us. and every time she left, my stepdad and i would just shake our heads, and laugh it off as usual. that was a lot of fun.

and when we finished cleaning up those chairs, my stepdad decided to take me out to dinner. that was really great. had a good talk. and i really wish that it didn't stop. but it always stops somewhere because we're still strangers to each other in the end.

that just bothers me. and i really wish it didn't.