i've re-edited my hallowed documentary for the final cut. it all came together, and i'm glad to say that i've received a lot of positive feedback from my professors and classmates. although a ton of weight has fallen off of my shoulders, there was still something that i didn't feel completely satisfied about.
i assumed that this was the only challenge that i needed to face and overcome. however, i've forgotten and come to realize that there was more than one thing that i wasn't doing right in my walk with God. i became aware of my other mistakes--
we truly are imperfect beings, but we don't know it all the time. we often lose ourselves in this shroud, and it's not easy to recognize the buried issues that hinder us-- pride, lust, the need to control, taking pleasure in idols, anger. it becomes a long list, and yea.. it can be a total guilt trip. but recognizing these flaws within ourselves, and lifting them all up to God is where we find the true beauty in the Holy Spirit. God loves us so much that He needs to keep us accountable, no matter how painful it is. that truly is unconditional love.
my pastor on sunday spoke briefly of judgment day during his message. he asked us if we thought if this was good news. a lot of people did not really know how to respond. i didn't know how to respond-- was this something to feel enthusiastic about? the wrath of God?
"this is good news," said pastor sean. actually, it is great news. he explained that God loves us so much that He needs to keep us accountable by bringing justice upon us. "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (john 3:16)
God loves us enough to accept us just as we are. but He loves us too much to leave us that way.
just being reminded of all of this has made my heart heavy throughout the past couple of weeks. throughout my studies, and my free time.. God has kept me accountable, and i am very grateful for that.
"Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still i will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord"
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