i really envy sons who have their fathers.. who talk to their fathers.

whenever someone talks about their dad-- like what he did with his dad, or even the not so good things like.. how his dad stopped him from doing this thing.. you know, like being principled for something.. i really wish i had something like that while growing up.

the other day, i went down to the garage to help my stepdad clean these pool chairs. we were scrubbing down these chairs for a good couple of hours. and i really enjoyed that time, you know? we didn't talk much, but we were working together on something-- and every now and then my mother would come downstairs, and nag at the both of us. and every time she left, my stepdad and i would just shake our heads, and laugh it off as usual. that was a lot of fun.

and when we finished cleaning up those chairs, my stepdad decided to take me out to dinner. that was really great. had a good talk. and i really wish that it didn't stop. but it always stops somewhere because we're still strangers to each other in the end.

that just bothers me. and i really wish it didn't.