BAMA youth retreat

Words-- my thoughts alone-- cannot fathom the amazing works of God which took place between last Thursday and Sunday.

This was not like any other retreat. Not like any other revival. God was there. And His holy spirit was truly moving and working through all of us there. It was very real, urgent, and necessary.



On Thursday night, the day before the youth group's BAMA (Bay Area Missions Adventure) retreat, I met up with my college small group. I went there to tell my small group leaders that I did not feel ready for the BAMA youth retreat. I wasn't clean, and I felt so rotten because of what I've done during the couple of weeks prior to that day. I fell hard, and I didn't bother getting up. Even though I knew that the BAMA retreat was coming around the corner, I still did not bother to come to God.

After I've shared this with my brothers, and after they've shared the conditions of their hearts, we collectively came to God. During that time of prayer, I told God everything. At that moment, it was the hardest thing to do, to tell God everything about the condition of my heart.

How He responded, and what He gave back was something I will never forget. And I will forever be amazed at how God is always able to reveal Himself during my times of desperate need. He is forever merciful.


The BAMA retreat was right around the corner, and I couldn't expect God to create in me a clean heart the next day. I realized that I only came to God when something big was coming up, and He revealed to me there, the poor condition of my obedience. Just because the BAMA retreat was coming around the corner, did not serve me the right to desperately approach God at that time only.

When I started to prepare for the retreat, I came forth with the only thing I had with me that day-- a renewed heart.

When the event began that Friday night, I lost God somewhere in the middle of praise and worship. I quickly became frustrated, and confused. No matter how hard I tried to get in touch with God, and no matter how hard I prayed, I could not find God. It was the strangest feeling.

I soon found out what was happening when I realized that it wasn't just me. The enemy was present in the room that night, and it was thick. It caused me to feel completely empty and hopeless. Furthermore, I became angry and upset when we ran into logistical problems later that night. Before I went to bed, I could not believe what was happening. It was possibly one of the worst feelings I've ever had-- losing touch with God that night.


Everything gradually changed the following day-- and I'm having the hardest time putting into words what happened on that Saturday. All I can surely say now is that I've never seen the youth group in the spiritual state they are in now. Almost all of the students who attended the retreat has confessed, and doubted their salvation. This was like no ordinary revival, and I am more than pleased to see the youth students coming to this point in their spiritual lives.


Throughout these past few years, it was difficult to clearly discern if there really was any change happening in the students' spiritual lives. We've had big retreats, and awesome times of getting closer to God, but they've all seemed to fall short in boosting our faith. One of the leaders asked me on Sunday if I've ever seen our youth group in the state they are in now, and I confidently said no. I have never seen God work so abundantly in the youth students before.

I look forward to seeing where He plans to take this youth ministry next.